Johnny The Homicidal Irken
by Invader Duo
Summary: This is a crossover between the Irken race of Invader Zim and Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. Fun.
1. Default Chapter

Johnny the Homicidal Irken  
  
This was actually going to be a comic that I was going to put on the internet, but my scanner is crap, so I just decided to write about it instead.  
  
ON TO THE STORY!!!  
  
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Darkness. cried the voice. A disembodied voice coming from the wall was not normal here. Miles beneath the surface of Irk, in a normal irken birthing station, a very not-normal something was about to be born.  
  
Darkness. it cried again. It was getting louder, as if creeping slowly toward the end of a tunnel. Suddenly, among the millions of faces on the wall, on face lit up bright green - and turned into a smiley face. An irken was ready to be hatched.  
  
Pain. the voice said louder still.  
  
Why is there so much pain?  
  
Before the voice had a chance to answer it's own question, the thought passed, as the tube was broken, releasing 200 gallons of nutrient broth and a lifeless smeet onto the floor. This smeet was a little above the average height for a smeet, and had two very thick antenne sticking forwards from his head, which was unusual for an Irken.  
  
Am I awake?  
  
A robotic arm came from the ceiling, and crilled two holes in the smeets back. Another arm came down, and placed a Back Pod on the irken. However, this pod was different. It was not new and pristine like the other packs, but this one was worn and used. Attaching itself, and zapping the smeet awake, the smeet had it's first sentient thought:  
  
I guess I am., even thought the smeet had no Idea why he thought that.  
  
"Welcome to Life Irken Child. Report for duty." said a cold, unfeeling robot voice. The smeet looked up and only saw the arm. That cold, unfeeling robot arm. As he did so, he had another sentient thought:  
  
My name is Johnny.  
  
Instinctively, the smeet called Johnny ran out of the birthing room, went to the nearest supply closet, and grabbed some clothes. He needed some because he came out of the broth naked. once fully dressed, he thought that he needed a weapon. He didn't know why, but he did. From out of his back pod, a robotic arm came, and handed him a knife. A very used (but sharp) bloody knife.  
  
As he looked upon the knife, he faintly remebered what it was used for, and why. A wicked evil grin spread across his green face.  
  
To Be Continued... 


	2. Johnny The Homicidal Irken

This next sequence is going to be very graphic, depicting around 200 security guards getting disembowled, decapitated, and otherwise mutilated (Try this at home, kids!*)  
  
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Running down the hallway. That's all he was doing at the moment. That, and setting off every alarm in the complex, alerting every security team to his presence. So, all Johnny was doing was running. And running. And running.  
  
He finally realized that he was never going to get out just by running aimlessly through a place where he had no idea of the layout. So, he turned around, still grinning like an insane person, and faced the near 200 security irkens after him.   
  
"Freeze, you smeet!" yelled a random security guard in the crowd of security guards.  
  
"My. Name. Is. Johnny. Never forget that." Johnny said in response, lifting the knife higher over his head.  
  
"You can't be called Johnny, we haven't issued you a name yet!" yelled another security guard.  
  
"Enough talk! Shoot him now!" yelled the first security guard. For a moment that seemingly hung frozen in time forever, noone made a single movement. Then, all at once, all hell broke loose - around 30 high energy pulse cannon pistols fired simultaneously at Johnny, erupting in a brilliant flash.  
  
"HA! We got.... him?" A security guard in the front said as he looked on as the smoke cleared. Stepping out of the smoke, came Johnny, unscathed, still holding the bloody knife, being protected by the energy sheild version of the spider legs. The blasts had just bounced off of him. Retracting the spider legs, all Johnny had to say was   
  
"I. Said. My. Name. Is. JOHNNY!!!!" as he lunged at the nearest security guard, knife first. The knife sliced through his throat, and came clean out his mouth. with an almighty cough, spitting up about a gallon of purple blood (Irken Hemoglobin doesn't contain Iron, so It's purple), the first security guard went limp, the life that was in him quenched by Johnny's unholy rage.  
  
Pulling the knife out, he went after the next one, jamming it at the top of his chest, and dragin the blade down, splitting open the security guard's chest with the cracking of his ribcage. With the chest open, and his squedally-spootch spilling everywhere, creating a pool of purple blood, Johnny just reached up his victims throat, felt around a little, and then pulled out the guys brain.  
  
Swish. Swish. Swish. The Next three were decapited with three quick hacks with the knife, then taking it and jamming it straight through another victims head.  
  
"I think he gets the point!" Johnny said with a chuckle, standing over his dead body.  
  
"ANYONE ELSE WANT A PEICE OF ME?!?!?" He yelled, as about 20 guards ran off. The remainging one's had surrouded him, and started to fire. The spider legs in sheild configuration won't work, he thought to himself. Just as the bolts left the barrells, Johnny's spider legs pulled him to the ceiling, out of harms way.  
  
The 40 bolts met each other in the middle, ricoched off each other, and went straight back into the barrell of the gun that had fired it. Each gun went a bright red right before exploding. Every security guard had been incinerated. Well, not totally. There were a couple of arms, legs, part of a head, and a torso left, some twitching occasionally, while uselssly bleeding on the floor.  
  
"I guess that'll teach you to not call me Johnny," he said to the half of the head that hadn't been annihilated. He went to the torso, hooked into it, found the floor plans, and exited (without setting off any alarms) to the surface of Irk.  
  
There was one thing that was bothering him though....  
  
How did I know that my name was Johnny?  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
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*Stupid people: I am being as sarcastic as I possibly can be when I says this. The only reason that I'm adding this is because I don;t want a lot a nasty email cluttering up my inbox, saying that some stupid people actually did try this at home...  
  
anyway, please review! 


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